"HERE'S LOOKING AT YOU KID!"
“ I want to look back at the young twenty-two year old girl who didn’t have a clue and share what she learned to the people who have the same dreams as her. ”
I remember being cold and homesick as I sat down to watch Rang De Basanti in a London theatre. I remember walking all the way back after the film in a daze, feeling a surge of adrenalin; of excitement, joy, fear, and an intensely personal sense of awakening that I couldn’t shake off. Here I was, in London, studying at my dream college London School of Economics, on my way to a brilliant corporate career and all I could think about was-Why the hell hadn’t I noticed films before?
This moment was the turning point for me. This was the beginning an endless series of wants that started to flood my life- I wanted more excitement, wanted more adventure, more meaning, purpose, desire, achievement than I had ever done in my twenty two years of existence. Movies cracked me open.
From that clueless twenty-two year old to today, I’ve worked as an assistant on three beautiful mainstream films, directed my first indie feature film Dear Maya and am currently in the process of making my second feature film. In between all of these milestones, I’ve also spent a long hellish period of time pitching scripts and getting rejected. Not to mention the bit about a movie that got stalled after a year’s worth of work, two years lost to a pandemic and some months spent unsuccessfully working my way through ludicrously one-sided contracts. And while all of this was happening, I kept trying to Google my way to answers. Surely all this stuff must be happening to other people. I know it did.
Don’t get me wrong; my love for the movies is real. The time spent on sets when the actual creation of movies is done, is perhaps the most exhilarating high I have ever experienced. I am moved from the deepest parts of me, every time I am on a film set. There’s nothing like it. Then there’s all the rest of the stuff that comes with being a filmmaker. In fact, the actual making of the film is perhaps only twenty percent of what you do as a filmmaker.
So before I forget all the stuff that went on in what I like to call my ‘battle years’, I thought I must capture it on paper, so I can look back at the young twenty-two year old girl who didn’t have a clue and share what she learned to the people who have the same dreams as her. Because if there’s one thing she did learn, it’s that it’s insanely difficult to navigate this industry alone. You can lose years if there is no one to guide you, I certainly have. For people outside the industry, I hope this gives a glimpse into the true joy of working on good movies as well as the great fortune of getting to tell your own. And for my friends and colleagues already on this ride with me, I hope they see a reflection of the magical sublime life we all share.
WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF THIS BLOG ?
There are volumes of books and resources on the internet about how to make films, but very little about the ‘way-to-be’ in the film world. Thriving in the film world is as much of a mental game as it is about skill, and almost no one talks about the consequences of the decisions you take in your early years which can very often decide the course of your career.
This blog is my attempt at sharing everything I had to learn the hard way and trying to bring some transparency in the process for the countless people who reach out to me for work, for guidance, advice. I can only imagine the number of people reaching out to senior, veteran directors. My hope is that by breaking my journey down step-by-step right from the very beginning, through all the experiences, the decisions, the mistakes, the falling down and getting up and all the numerous conversations that have inspired me I may help some budding filmmaker save a few precious years and that alone will be worth this experiment!
THIS WEBSITE CONTAINS
a. ‘Scene to Scene Playback’ or in other words my blog, recounts colourful stories of being an irreverent assistant, giving you a as vivid as possible a sketch of life as an AD, the transition from AD to Director which was a deeply testing time and my experiences of making my first indie film. The blog will be an ever-evolving space and I’ll keep writing snippets of my journey past and present.
b. The ‘Finding Your Way In’ section is meant to serve as a guide in helping you choose how you want to enter the film industry. There are usually only four ways that people enter the film industry to be a writer-director and I try to address all four of them in detail. I’ve done a deep dive into the unanticipated challenges of transitioning from an assistant director to a director, discussing some of the early mistakes I wish I could have been smarter about. For all the million things I don’t know, I’ve curated some invaluable advice from some of my favourite directors who have inspired me at several testing moments during my journey.
