By the time Rockstar started, I actually knew a few things. I had already assisted on two films and rotated through the entirety of roles that an assistant can possibly perform, which meant I was no longer useless. The process of filmmaking had settled into my system, I was eager to rise up in the world.I was willing to do anything to prove myself and maybe sensing that restless energy Imtiaz handed over a LOT.

There was a flow in this film that I can rarely describe. Working with Ranbir and Nargis remains one of the best experiences I have ever had as an assistant director. Since Nargis did not speak the language and had relocated from America to Mumbai for this film, she was going through a lot and I tried my best to be there for her to make the transition easier. Her friendship remains one of the most cherished takeaways from Rockstar.

Nargis took Hindi tuitions and both Ranbir and Imtiaz worked endlessly with her in workshops and rehearsals to help her develop her Hindi language skills. After they finished their rehearsals, Nargis and I would go through the lines again.

One of the happy by products of all these rehearsals was that I knew the script entirely by heart by the time we hit the floor. I could say Ranbir’s line to Nargis and Nargis’s lines to Ranbir at the drop of a hat. This truly was a super power, because once I knew every line, I also knew every emotional beat of every line in every scene. I could remind Imtiaz of what he said he wanted emotionally during the rehearsals. I could tell Nargis what Imtiaz wanted without him being around. I could do Nargis’s parts with Ranbir in rehearsals and echo Heer’s beats. I am so grateful and thankful for this experience because it really prepared the ground for me to transition to being a Director.

What was a typical day for me when I was working at full capacity? Wake up early, be one of the first to arrive on set. Check that Nargis and Ranbir are on track to arrive on schedule. Once they arrive, remind them of the scene we are about to shoot, give them the scripts. Again a mere formality on this film, both the actors would have rehearsed it together in their hotel with Imtiaz the night before. Once on set, I would set up the extras or background artists while we waited for the actors to come to set. (In Rockstar the number of extra’s in song shoots were insane but that’s a story for another post). Once the actors arrive, they do a quick rehearsal and shooting begins. While the shoot began, I followed the lines (script supervisor), made all the necessary script notes and wrote down the remarks on the ok takes. Post pack up, the entire team would discuss the next days scene and after a short break I would join Nargis, Ranbir and Imtiaz for rehearsals at their hotel for the next day.

I worked on Rockstar like it was my own film. Everybody did, to be fair. Somehow we all took collective custody of telling this story together. It was perhaps Imtiaz’s biggest triumph - to make his crew forget who owned the film. Looking back, I remember the unease I felt post release, as it started to dawn on me that Satish and I (my colleague, another assistant director who gave his all to the film) were no longer a part of the film’s journey. I had the distinct feeling of being left behind and the bittersweet realisation that the film never belonged to me and these were just the rules of the game.

During Rockstar I was offered my first opportunity to direct my feature film. And though that opportunity never worked out, I knew it was the end of the road for my career as an assistant director. Looking back, my days as an assistant director were joyous and delightful, wild and sobering, terribly long and all too short. Working under the umbrella of a director helps shelter you from the harsh sun. But eventually, all of us have to step into our own light.