THE STUFF THAT DREAMS ARE MADE OF

SUNAINA BHATNAGAR

THE STUFF THAT DREAMS ARE MADE OF!

“The physicality of the job struck me the most. Here were two hundred people in the sun on their feet, working, smoking, laughing, eating in the middle of the street like they didn't have a care in the world.”

After my eureka moment at LSE, I came back to India and broke the news to my parent’s that I had decided to become a filmmaker. Of course, they didn’t believe me. They thought I was being a rebel; their studious, serious girl could never want that. To their credit though, they didn’t say no. They gave me an ultimatum… go to Mumbai and spend three months trying to be an assistant director or an intern or whatever. I should point out here; since I didn’t have ANY filmmaking experience and no connections at all, making a short film or just starting out were not an option. I had to be an assistant and learn the job.

Day one of being on a set: if I said I knew my left foot from my right foot, that would be a lie. It was Day 1 of Jab We Met (2007) and I had just joined the film 20 days before the film was about to start. At that point I was a cocky, smug London School of Economics graduate and so I thought, this would be a piece of cake. I mean, it’s not rocket science. How hard could shooting a film be?

We were shooting in south Mumbai, on a bus for the credit sequence in which Shahid Kapoor had to get on a bus, look lost and depressed and then get down from the bus to enter V.T station. My contribution that day was not dying from sunstroke and keeping up with the crew. There were crowds and I was definitely more crowd than crew that day. No one noticed, thank God. In addition to that, I was handed a gigantic walkie-talkie, which I had to attach to my hips (jeans) and someone or the other would constantly be barking orders down at me, along with everyone else. If I took it off, I got yelled at.

Wait, let me take a step back. Let me describe the film set. It’s a large, living-breathing organism made of both people and things, with one central point, i.e. ‘the set’ where the filming actually takes place. From the set extend these large limbs, lots of them like an octopus, each inch made of interconnecting people, going from inside out in terms of importance. One limb is the production designer and his team, the other sound, costume, camera, lights…each limb starts at the centre where the work is being created, and extends itself for as far and wide as it’s work entails.

In the centre is the set, which is like a microcosm of the world; it has your ‘cool kids’, your misfits, your creeps, your sociopaths, your dreamers, your artists, your ‘day to day’ just get it done type people, all of whom I would get to know much better in the coming days of filming.

The physicality of the job struck me the most. Here we were, two hundred people in the sun on their feet, working while also smoking, laughing, eating, drinking, talking... or was it the other way around? But no one cared they were in the middle of the street, no one cared they were blocking traffic, no one cared they were on their feet, in fact I felt like no one cared about anything at all. There seemed to be no rules, and I couldn’t figure out when work started and where it ended. A lifetime of education had not prepared me for how to function and I was just a bundle of awkward limbs, mumbling my way and counting the minutes till sunset.

I discovered so many things in the next few months. Swear words, their shape, size, depth, gender and frequency was simply astounding. I made the mistake of scolding someone for using a swear word in front of me, and inadvertently became the butt of jokes for the next hundred days till someone did something more stupid. Even today it amazes me how people on a film set are completely unmoved by all the humiliation and insults that are hurled around at one another. Life was intense times a hundred; work, working hours, protocol, decorum, alcohol, everything was fluid and it was both frightening and liberating at the same time.

But mostly I remember how badly my feet really hurt.I remember sitting in a meeting in a circle at the end of day, with all the other AD’s and falling asleep somewhere half way through it. I woke up next morning in the same place (thanks team, for that), embarrassed, stuttering and realising what I had done. The makings of a fantastic filmmaker! I would be lying if I didn’t think I had made a brutal mistake in those initial days.

THE AHA MOMENT

Then it happened. It was a small, insignificant moment at best. The cinematographer, Natarajan Subramaniam called me to ‘stand in’ on the set in place of the lead actress so that he could light up the shot. I stepped into her place with my script, conscious of the entire crew, milling around me watching. Unaware, the cameraman asked me to enact the scene so that he could understand the movement.

I felt a small thrill go down my spine. My toes tingled. I said the lines. A few seconds later, Imtiaz the Director, stepped in and acted Shahid Kapoor’s lines. Someone had recorded it, and after the rehearsal I watched myself and despite my terribly self conscious acting… I could see the page come to life in front of my eyes. And I was a part of it. I got goose bumps.

I wanted this.

I wanted this so bad.

I wanted all of it. ALL OF IT.

I was determined to climb the trenches from a lowlife rookie, 3rd Ad, to 2nd AD and 1st AD till eventually I made it to the top of the throne, the all supreme commander and creative wonder: The Director. I would endure all of it, I would do whatever is necessary to become the best Director that I could possibly be. BRING IT ON!